How to spot an american

They say to pretend you’re Canadian when you’re traveling Europe: “They hate Americans!!” Perhaps this is true, but it’s not without reason. It’s not that Europeans hate America, it’s that American tourists are DREADFUL. They’re loud, they stand out, they make no attempts to speak the language, and expect the culture to take care of them. It’s extremely frustrating.
Many of the people in my program act like this, and it embarrasses me to no end. Sadly, I am always categorized as an American when I speak Italian, since my accent always gives me away. However, when I speak English to non-native speakers, they tend to assume I’m British. It’s very difficult to pick apart accents for non-native speakers--I can only catch major ones in Italian (Heavy Sicilian and Venetian, because they’re very distinct in pronunciation). I don’t stand out on the streets too much, except that my clothes are a bit too colorful and not very high end or stylish, my hair is a bit of a mess, and I’m pale as all get go with light brown hair. If you’re not brunette, you don’t look Italian. I also tend to walk with too much purpose, aka, too fast. Certainly not the strolling gait (aka passegiata) of most.
I have, however, gotten decent at picking Americans out of a line up. They tend to:
be wearing tshirts, shorts (they dont wear them here), baseball caps, and white too tall socks
Be wearing some sort of souvenir
Be speaking very loudly in English
Not attempt to speak the local language
Get in peoples’ way, trying to figure out where they are
Not be weary of local customs (standing on the left of the elevator in London, or something)
Be doing the stupidest tourist things ever (tour buses, or tourist traps like Juliet’s balcony)

To be fair, American tourists aren't the worst. Any large tour group is awful--Asians and out of country Italians (they follow me around Europe, I swear), just by the group mentality, and the shoving and rudeness of trying to keep up with their tour guide.